I feel so guilty, I hate this situation Miranda has put me in, I don’t even want go… I don’t want to do this to Emily, this is her dream, this is all she has wanted for so long… all she has worked for.
Not only do I have do go, Miranda is pressuring me to tell Emily myself, she will hate me, and probably never forgive me. She wont understand that I didn't have a choice.
I hate what I have become, I didn’t want things to turn out like this. I know if I do go, which is my only choice, I will make the situation so much worse, not only between me and Emily, but also between Nate, and all my friends who I can tell, are beginning to hate what I have become.
I feel pressured into going after my fight with Nate. I need this time away from our relationship, but if I go, I know I will never forgive myself for doing that to Emily.
I should have a night to sleep on it…
Love Andy xx
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